


Light and Hope

by aldendraco



Series: Modern Erilea [1]
Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Modern AU, also chaol and dorian will be the death of me they're so pure, both as friends or more, chaorian - Freeform, i love them, i mean idk if it's exactly a happy ending but it's less angsty than what i usually go for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 11:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aldendraco/pseuds/aldendraco
Summary: In the dark place that Chaol's found himself in after a traumatising accident, Dorian is the light that will help him find the way home.





	Light and Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Hi it's 1 am, 2019 came in with a very good start writing-wise and a very bad start sleep-schedule-wise. 
> 
> Anyway I've had this on my mind for months now but only now found the inspiration to write it. It's probably full of mistakes considering I'm half-asleep already, but hey, 'twas fun. 
> 
> Enjoy some good modern (kinda-more-than-hinted) Chaorian because I'm a sucker for modern aus~

It had all been perfectly fine until the accident.

 

One day he’d been training to be a champion Olympic-level fencer, the other he was lying across the street, bloody and unconscious as the car that had crossed the red light sped away. He’d woken up in a hospital bed a day later, feeling nothing but a knot of pain from the waist down. His mother was crying, his brother was crying, his friends were crying; his father hadn’t visited yet, and Chaol wasn’t even sure he cared. Maybe he even believed he got what he deserved for choosing to become an athlete rather than go to an expensive economics university and inherit the family business. So maybe he was happy now -maybe he thought his son would finally snap awake and go down the typical Westfall road.

 

Chaol didn’t care. He didn’t want to go down this road, or any other -now more than ever. He just wanted the pain to go away. He just wished the car that had ran him over had killed him instead.

 

At least his father was still paying for the expensive clinic his mother had suggested. The bed was comfortable enough -or as comfortable as it could be in his situation anyway- and he could see the trees and the sky from the window if he turned his head just a little bit. But he slept for most of the day, and he didn’t care about anything. Not anymore.

 

The doctors had done the best during the surgery, and so his arm remained broken but would work just fine upon healing. But there was only so much even they could do to repair the broken vertebrae and severed nerves. He’d avoided sepsis and amputation, but even so his legs would never work again.

 

So the doctors pumped him full of morphine and antibiotics, and at least let him be in peace for whatever time the pain let him, and even his father hadn’t dared disturb him so far.

 

Chaol hoped it would stay like that a little longer, but slowly the danger of infection crept away, and the pain lessened enough that the doctors let him stay awake longer and longer every day. His mother was by his side every day crying, and Terrin visited each evening after school before their father picked him up to drive him to all the important private lessons he was attending. Chaol could only watch them all cry, powerless, their own sorrow being the only reason he kept his own emotions bottled up. If there was no hope for him, he at least wanted to make sure the rest of his loved ones would suffer as less as possible.

 

But the universe wasn’t helping.

 

“Hey. Are you awake?”

 

A gleaming blonde head peeked from the door of his room that had been left ajar; Aelin, one of his best friends, forced a smile at her face and waved a slender hand in greeting. Chaol, who’d opened his eyes by then, nodded for her to come in. She pushed the door fully open and crept into the room, plopping across the vacant chair next to his bed. His mother had finally been convinced to go home for a few hours so she could catch some proper sleep, but she’d be back by nighttime.

 

“So…” Aelin let the armful of books she was carrying fall on the nightstand by the bed. “I figured you’d be bored. Brought you these -no schoolwork textbooks, I swear! Sorcha and Nehemia helped me pick them up.”

 

Chaol managed a weak smile -just a twitch of his lips, really, the light of it not reaching his eyes.

 

“Thanks.” His voice was still a bit rough from disuse, but he was glad to finally exchange some words that wouldn’t be consolation for the endless weeping of his poor mother. “Really. I think I might start counting the leaves off the trees out of boredom soon enough.”

 

Aelin giggled quietly at that. “Well I’m glad we could at least avoid _that_. Doesn’t sound very amusing. I...” she fell silent, and looked at him sadly -something that Chaol hated already, the pity with which they all looked at him. Even if he could understand why.

 

He took a deep, shuddering breath as Aelin reached out and clasped her hands around his, still peppered with bruises and scratches.

 

“I can’t even imagine what you’re even going through, Chaol...” her voice was unusually quiet. “But we love you -all of us. And we miss you -we can’t wait until you’re back with us again. It’s gonna be just like before, I promise.”

 

“It’s not.” His voice sounded harsher than he’d intended, and he hated himself for it. “It’s never gonna be the same, Aelin, I… just look at me.” He gestured vaguely towards the lower part of his body.

 

Aelin shook her head fiercely, colour flushing across her cheeks as she wiped away the tears that were beginning to line her eyes. Determination flickered through them.

 

“We’ll find a way around it, you’ll see. And it still doesn’t change anything about you, and _us_. You’re no less our friend because of that, Chaol. Trust me, we’d rather have you without working legs than without a working _life_ -”

 

“Well I’d rather have the latter.” He snapped, again harsher than intended, as he fought to keep the tears from spilling. “You… I understand what you mean, Aelin, but-”

 

“You don’t need to explain.” Aelin got up, facing away from him, and he knew she was crying. He wanted to get up and take her hand and apologise, but something in him was too broken for even that. “Anyway, I need to go. There’s an assignment due tomorrow… and Dorian’ll want to see you too.”

 

“Dorian’s here?” The hint of hope that slipped into his voice surprised both of them -Chaol hadn’t realised how much his friend’s absence had hurt until he realised that, truly, Dorian was the only one who hadn’t visited him yet.

 

Aelin blinked, wiping her eyes again. “Yeah, he said he’d be coming… he’ll explain himself, I’d imagine.” She walked to the door, but not without looking at him one last time. “I meant what I said, Chaol.”

 

He wanted to respond, but she spoke again before he got the chance to.

 

“Read the books I brought, I promise they’re really cool.” She took a step out of the room. “I’m gonna call Dorian.”

 

And with that Aelin was gone, and Chaol was left hating himself for every harsh word he’d spoken. He knew she had been right, and that he should be grateful to have such great friends. But the moment of the accident kept flashing back to him, along with all he’d lost, and the pain he went through, and the brightness in Aelin’s voice seemed too far away from him to reach.

 

He didn’t have more time to think about it, however, as the door was flung open so hard it nearly burst from its hinges (surely alerting every nurse in that floor of the building as it banged against the wall), and Dorian all but stormed inside.

 

“Chaol!” His voice was so full of relief that Chaol was left gaping as his best friend completely disregarded the chair, falling on his knees by his bed and throwing his arms around him so tightly it nearly choked the air out of him. Surprised beyond belief, he belatedly raised his good arm to hug Dorian back as tight as possible.

 

“I was so scared…” Dorian choked out, his voice thick with tears, and Chaol found his eyes brimming with them as well. This time, he didn’t hold them back and both of the boys sobbed quietly. “Aelin called so late at night, and she was crying so much, I-I couldn’t understand what she was saying, I thought you had _died…_ I’m so sorry I didn’t come earlier, you know how my father is, and Mother’s sick all the time and Hollin needed me to take him back and forth to lessons I didn’t give a single crap about-”

 

“It’s alright.” Chaol found himself on the consoling side again as he patted his friend’s back gently. “I was okay.” He really wasn’t, but at the wake of Dorian’s guilt, he found himself not giving a damn about his own situation.

 

Both of them managed to calm down, and Dorian picked himself up from the floor to sit on the chair as close to his friend’s bed as possible. After they’d both wiped their eyes and collected themselves, he spoke again.

 

“I was there the first day. We all were me, Aelin, Rowan, Nehemia, Sorcha, Aedion, Nesryn, Lys, not one of us was missing.” Dorian explained. “But when Terrin called, telling us you woke up… I-I was too scared to come. I was certain I’d cry and… I couldn’t...” he took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose as if to stop himself for crying again.

 

“Hey, Dorian,” Chaol reached out a hand and grabbed his friends as tightly as he could. “It’s alright. Really. I understand. I… I’m just happy you’re here now. I… missed you.” Truly, he hadn’t realised exactly how much Dorian’s absence had weighted on him until he saw him there, at the door.

 

Dorian smiled a little bit. “Missed you too, buddy. More than you can imagine. I-” He let out a huff and looked away. “I knew you’d be on a tight spot, and your family too. I didn’t want to come here and just start sobbing like an old lady, y’know… it would make everything worse for all of you. And then family duties fell all over me and before I could catch my breath, here we are, a whole week having gone by before I finally found the time -and balls- to come.”

 

At that, Chaol couldn’t stop the breathy chuckle that escaped him. “Mind your language, Dorian, we’re at a hospital.”

  
“For crying out loud, Chaol, it’s the hospital not the _church_.”

 

They actually laughed loudly at that for a few seconds -but then silence settled on them again, heavy and thick with misery. They remained like that for a short while, before Dorian cleared his throat once more.

 

“So… are you aright?” He asked quietly, and Chaol felt his chest tighten.

 

“No.” A knot rose to his throat at the sincerity he had managed, and he swallowed hard. “No, I’m not… what am I going to do, Dorian?”

His friend’s hand tightened its grip around his. “It’s still too soon to think of that. Let’s just wait until you get out of here first.”

 

“Why does it even matter?” Chaol muttered darkly. “The only thing that’s gonna change is what bed I’ll be lying on.”

 

“Don’t say that!” Dorian argued. “Both our families have money and-and if your father doesn’t pay for a solution, then mine will. He likes you, and so does my mother. I’m sure there must be something-”

 

“Like _what_?!” Chaol couldn’t help bur raise his voice, desperation ringing through it. “The surgeons said my spine’s snapped in two. One of the best clinics in Adarlan, and even they couldn’t do anything about it. You can’t just put glue on a broken vase and expect it to stand, Dorian. You… you just can’t.”

 

There was so much resignation seeping from his voice that even Dorian’s determination shimmered out, and silence settled again between them, only interrupted by Chaol’s heavy breathing -a bruised diaphragm was certainly not something to be shouting with, he supposed.

 

“I got a phone call for my tutor, you know.” Chaol whispered all too quietly, a few minutes later. “I haven’t told anyone else yet -that this was the reason behind it all. He called me, telling me my application for the next Olympic Games had just been approved by the Terrasen Olympic Committee. I was… I couldn’t believe it. I was dazed out of my mind and… I didn’t notice the car crossing the red light.” He laughed quietly, but there was no humour in the sound. “It’s ironic, isn’t it? How everything I’d hoped for crumpled because of the very thing that kept me going.”

 

“Chaol...” Dorian just put both his hands over his friend’s, voice shaking with sorrow and disbelief. “I promise we’ll figure out something. Together. Just… please don’t lose hope, okay? You’re still here. That’s all that matters.”

 

“Maybe…”

 

“No, not “maybe”.” Dorian suddenly sounded angry, which was a strange, almost unprecedented thing when it came to Chaol. “Do you have any idea how we all felt when we heard that you were hit? Do you know that you flat-lined _twice_ during the operation? You didn’t hear your mother’s screams then, you didn’t watch Aelin empty her stomach on the floor because she just couldn’t take it, you didn’t see Aedion punching a wall so hard his knuckles bled, you didn’t see little Terrin shaking and going as pale as snow, asking why his big brother wasn’t waking up. And you definitely didn’t see _me_ grabbing a nurse by the arm and pleading her to do anything to save you.”

 

He paused to take a breath, face flushed and eyes glazed, as Chaol stared at him with utter disbelief for a few slow-ticking, never-ending seconds.

 

“So don’t “maybe” me, Chaol.” Dorian muttered eventually, voice shaking. “Not when we saw you crossing death’s threshold twice and coming back from it. Not when, twice, we thought we lost a son or a best friend or a brother.”

 

“I...” Chaol suddenly felt incredibly selfish and stupid. Nobody had even told him that he flat-lined… A wave of chilling, sudden terror and regret washed over him. "I-I’m sorry, Dorian. You are right." He sucked in a harsh breath. "I know this is hard on all of you as well. I just… I feel so lost.” It felt liberating admitting it, even if the realisation struck him like a blow to the face.

 

“I can imagine.” Dorian patted his arm gently. “You don’t need to snap out of it right now, or tomorrow, or in three days. I know that’s impossible, and that it will take time. All I’m asking is that you don’t give up. That you keep trying, because you’re _Chaol Westfall_ , and you’ve never given up on anything for as long as I know you; and that would be ah, only for most of our lives, I suppose.”

 

Strangely, Chaol found himself laughing -just a little, muffled sound, but this time it had been real.

 

“What would I do without you, Dorian?” He mumbled, shaking his head.

 

“Probably sit in a corner and lament all day, away from the bright existence of my genius.”

  
“You’re _such_ a jackass.”

 

Dorian laughed as well, sounding relieved -as if he hadn’t expected his words to have such a positive impact on his friend, and was delighted to find out that they actually did.

 

They sat there for a couple of hours more, Dorian filling Chaol in about all he’d missed the week he’d spent in the hospital; Rowan getting detention thanks to Aelin throwing a plastic bag full of water on the History professor, Lysandra beating up a guy that had whistled suggestively at her to a bloody pulp (and getting detention), Nesryn roundhouse-kicking another girl in the face for gossiping behind her back (and getting detention), and Aedion almost burning up the whole lab thanks to not knowing jackshit about Chemistry (and, surprisingly, not getting detention).

 

“We also got a couple of group projects for next week in History -I told Mr. Darrow that we’d all come and do it here with you, so we can add your name on the presentation.” Dorian shrugged. “That’ll definitely earn you a few extra points in the end.”

 

“Wow, that’s new.” Chaol raised an eyebrow. “I thought you and Aelin would beat up anyone who doesn’t do their part on group projects.”

 

“Aelin _is_ the one that doesn’t do her part!” Dorian exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “And anyway, you got hit by a car and nearly died, I consider this a good enough excuse. Besides, I plan on having you do _my_ part on the next project.”

 

“I sincerely cannot believe you, Dorian Havilliard.”

 

“Hey, that’s just who I am.” The dark-haired teen smirked, blue eyes twinkling with faint amusement -a sight Chaol was more than happy to witness. “As much as I’d love to blind you even more with my superb brilliance, I’ll have to go. Hollin is, in fact, going to throw a fit if I don’t pick him up on time. But I promise I’ll come again tomorrow, and I’ll stay longer.”  


“It’s alright.” Chaol smiled and waved a hand. “Don’t worry about me, Aelin brought me enough books to last me a month without a single person to talk to. Besides, my mother’s going to be here soon so I’ll be fine.”

 

“Oh, should be out in this case. I imagine she’ll want you all to yourself.” Dorian stood up, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. “Give your mother my greetings -and Terrin too, when he comes.”

 

“I will. Thank you, Dorian. Really.”

 

“Don’t mention it.” Dorian was already by the door, grinning as he looked at his friend one last time. “Love ya, dummy.”

 

Chaol’s smile widened just a bit, and warmth fluttered in his chest for the first time ever since he’d woken up. “Love you too, idiot.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I hope you guys had fun reading this. I may write more modern ToG at some point! Please consider leaving a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed it, and don't hesitate to point out any mistakes!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
